There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
