I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
