mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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