We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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