they need to just BURY HIM!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
