I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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