whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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