I can tuck mytits in my pants
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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