ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
