Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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