and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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