I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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