Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
