Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
