i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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