hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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