it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
