I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize