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Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
