$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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