I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
