My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
