i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
