Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
