You're earring is so big in my mouth
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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