Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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