haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
