he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
