i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
