Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
