I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
COCAINE IS GR8
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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