nut hugger
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize