So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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