I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
