Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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