everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
