oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
