none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
