Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
