and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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