he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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