I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
