Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
