we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
