question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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