just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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