hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
