I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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