doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
