the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
