Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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