So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize