i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
