oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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