About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize