3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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