Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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