i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
