But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
