I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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