mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
