pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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