Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
